Tonight was a pretty interesting night. It started with a phone call from a friend named John. We've always been cool with each other, but like most of my friends I never really was real with him. Well tonight we had a 10 minute phone conversation that was very positive. He told me that he heard my podcast and that he was proud of me for coming out & being honest. He said that he & a mutual friend of ours were there if I ever needed to talk. I told him that it was hard for me to accept help & support from others, but that I was going to start therapy on Thursday (Yay!) and that his support meant a lot to me.
Then I got 3.messages in my Facebook inbox from people that had heard my podcast/read this blog and they told me that I was not alone and that they were rooting for me. Then I had the much-dreaded talk with my sister. I had sent her the clip from the podcast as a primer for her (and so that I didn't have to actually tell my little sister in words what was going on). Unfortunately she wasn't able to listen to it before she called and I had to let her know everything. I told her about the sexual abuse in my past (I'll probably talk about that sometime in the future, but I'm not there yet), I told her about my depression since I've been back from Canada, and I told her about what I did on Saturday night. She was stunned, but she was supportive. She told me that she loved me and that she was glad I was getting some help and glad I was able to be honest with her. This is probably only the second real adult conversation that I've ever had with my sister (the first being when she asked me why it didn't work out with my ex). So that went pretty well. Then I sent my dad an e-mail including a link to this page and let him know that we would talk about it when he was ready. He's driving me to my Therapy appointment this week. He was very supportive when I first told him about my sexual abuse 4 weeks ago, and I think we've had a much better relationship since I've been back. He's the same old great dad I've always had...But I'm finally starting to let him in and finally being real with him. So Pops is on board the Healing-Train. The only person left is Moms, but I think I may wait until later this week to tell her. I love my mother to death, but she can be intimidating at times. It occurred to me just now while typing this that one of the problems I had with my ex was that I'm non-assertive and passive-aggressive while at times she could be overbearing and a bit of a bully. In reality my relationship with her in terms of being open & honest really wasn't that much different than my relationship with Moms (doesn't it always come back to mommy-issues).
So far, so good...Not quite.
I got a visit from a constant companion of mine a few hours later.
No comments:
Post a Comment