Round 1

So I had my first therapy session on Monday...And it went really well!

Through talking with my therapist I realized that everything that I do to this day is connected to my abuse incident...And it isn't.  The abuse isn't completely the reason why I am the way that I am...But it had a huge impact on the man that I am today.  My session also shed insight on the relationships that I have with my parents, my sister, my friends & co-workers, and with my ex.

And speaking of my ex...We've decided to go on "Radio Silence"-mode for a few months.  I realize now that I was leaning on her way too much for support/strength.  And while she was willing to do that because she cares about me, it wasn't really fair to her or even to myself.  She needs time to process our break-up & focus on her own life & happiness.  And I need to do the same.

I also realized that being smart and taking the proverbial field goal or punting for better field position isn't a sign of weakness or a hallmark of being a punk.  The real punk move is going for it on 4th & 25 because of a false sense of bravado.  That's what got me to this point, and I'm never doing that again.

So anyways...This is round 1 of the fight of my life.  Round 1 of the fight FOR my life.  I've got therapy scheduled for twice a month and me & my counselor are really gonna go to work on the issues that have been holding me back my entire life.  It's not gonna be easy, but it's worth it.  I'M worth it...And I will come out victorious in this fight!